You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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