dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
