Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize