What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She's the barista slut.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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