the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize