Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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