I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
