I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
