my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
P.S. I can't hear my feet
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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