yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
