i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
