He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
