You really coming over, don't trick.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she pinky promised me she was 18
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
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