Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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