pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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