Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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