Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
