You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
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My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
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