dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
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Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
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look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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