No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
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I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
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Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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