What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
