I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
