do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
