I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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