I wish I only lived at night.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
