We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize