He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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