i don't like sucking hair
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
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you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
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Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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