Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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