I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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