we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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