i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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