I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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