she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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