I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
pray to the hookup gods
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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