just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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