I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
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Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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