Screwed.edu
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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