Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my shit smells like andre
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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