I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
