that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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