No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
