I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize