I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
