Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
