I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
