Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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