I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize