just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
