This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
