That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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