high people should be assigned attendants
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
