Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
