4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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