He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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