Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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