I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize