fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
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I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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