You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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