We're like a lot better than the average bears
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize