why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
