new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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