Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
