I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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